Bring Tony Abbott back…yep…I said it…

I’ve kept quiet about politics for a little while, as the thought about it and the subsequent question marks I raise about suitability, electability, usefulness and just downright helpfulness irk me and leave me shaking with confusion and frustration.

I didn’t vote Liberal party, and most people would suggest that I vote left…but I viewed Malcolm Turnbull and what he stood for as an eye raiser, in a good way…possibly someone who could attract some votes from those close to the centre…maybe even mine. (crazy hey? tell me about it)

I’ve watched Malcolm Turnbull since his replacing of Tony Abbott and I had hoped, with a fair degree of trepidation, that it would show a marked turn in the Liberal party towards a more centralist path, well certainly more left of the far right that they were camped out with.

…a path where perhaps bi-partisan support would come from the Labor party, because the policies proffered by the Libs were solid and they then had the backing of both sides of the house…

…a path where minorities weren’t utilised as weapons in placating the internal rumblings of parties, or horse traded with fringe parties…

…a path where the treatment of the indigenous population is high on the agenda and asylum seekers human rights aren’t trampled over…

…a path to prosperity and tolerance with a view to be progressive with the economy, invest in innovation and temper economic Luddites in Canberra…

…a path where the good of the country’s climate issues might indeed attract mainstream ACTION as opposed to tinfoil wearing postulation, based solidly on conspiracy theory…

…a path where members of the Liberal party would rally behind their leader, after finally making a decision about their leadership team, would push in a concerted effort to govern the country. Spurred on by putting the excitement and tumult of the leadership behind them they would become ‘not the Labor party’ and get on with things…

Having ensured I had not partaken in any Class A drugs, I had to sit down and have a stern talking to myself…I thought all of this, perhaps naïvely, and I shake my head at the history repeating from the last 4 PM’s in this country (5 really but one doubled up).

Turnbull’s ascendency is a joke.

So much so that it is an affront to Australians and anyone who believes in progressing this country. His arms bound by the factional right in the LNP, whilst Shorten takes swinging kicks to his nuts, he has been rolled and they keep rolling him every breath he takes. None of the progressive policies he indicated he personally supported were part of his platform before the top job and absolutely none of the tempering of the factional idiocy within his own party. None of the representation of National Party Coalition constituency needs and yet none of the representation of the Eastern Suburbs LGBTI community…dafuq is he doing?

He’s been hamstrung but won’t fight back…which makes him beige. Beige leadership. Beige decisions. Beige everything…even beige fucking couch as I saw on the ABC!

Bring back Tony Abbott. I don’t like the guy, believe me, but he is at least consistent with what he says. I can trust him to be the guy I expect him to be. I can trust him to be anti LGBTI issues, I can trust him to be misogynistic, he can be trusted to gut the ABC and can absolutely be trusted to promote and bring into the light out of the shadows the far right within his party.

The Monk is gleefully sitting in the shadows waiting for Turnbull to deliver a solid self-uppercut to himself, in addition to all the body blows that the right of the party have given Turnbull, so he may as well just be given the baton to run with.

Give it to him…let him run again and let him get belted.

Democracy is paralysed in this country. Nothing is progressing. Nothing is happening. Nothing is changing. The neo conservative is winning votes based on fear, xenophobia, staunch religious doctrine…and the moderates are to blame. If there is no decent alternative, what the fuck do people expect…

You are a toothless tiger Malcolm…but it’s not all your fault…you might have been smart enough to make an enormous fortune and achieve fantastic academic success through smarts and drive, but you were never armed to deal with the likes of Canberra.

Hand it back to Tony…at least we can fight with someone who wants to front up with a position.



Wallbies to win? or All Blacks too powerful? Rugby World Cup Semi Final Poll

Tips for Travelling in the UK

Rule 1 – On the flight, Get exit row seats

I’ve never enjoyed a flight as much as i did on the first leg of our trip. I stretched out, i got up win i wanted to and the wife had a footrest. OMFG it was good. Certainly the poor man business class.

Rule 2 – Be patient, i wasn’t

When a child screams for 7 hours straight (on our second leg of the trip) don’t get angry at the chid, just throw a house brick at the parent. This sounds rude but this mother decided to do nothing, except watching her movie screen and saying shush once every hour, whilst her child stole food from other guests, smacked his mother in the head a million times, and for the full 7 hours made a sound that can only be written as “errrrghhhiiiiiiiiiiggghhhhhhiiiiieeeeeeee” (*rub a bit more screeching and crying into it). I hate that kid, but i hate his mum more…now that i have written this they will likely be on my flight home :S


My wife after the 7 hours of screaming child

Rule 3 – Get a decent car

The Renault Fluence is a gutless piece of shite and demands you change gears in the most ridiculous of circumstances. Next time i will get an Audi…or a helicopter.

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Rule 4 – Give up on finding a good coffee

I truly believe that Europe (barring France and Italy), Asia and the North America absolutely HATE coffee. They torture it and serve up, what is a generous description, dish water. I can’t operate without a coffee, so when sold what resembles a puddle of a latrine deposit in calcutta, i just get cranky. On the plus side, Carluccio’s in South Kensington and Russell Square make a brilliant long black.

Rule 5 – Just order what the locals are having.

This includes stout. Stout is just fantastic and is definitely an acquired taste…learn to love the intricacies of the mysterious dark beers. Also if you drink heineken everyone laughs at you…because its ‘fekkin shite’ and ‘a kiddies drink’


Rule 6 – Get lost

Theres no street names in some Irish towns so you might as well embrace it. One girl i met explained that everyone in the town knows everyone so street names aren’t necessary. When she posted something from Australia back to Ireland the man at the post office couldn’t fathom why she just wrote “Sam Johnson, Cobh, Ireland”…she said send it…it’ll get there…and it did. We found some great places and small pubs just getting off the beaten track. Also your GPS freaks out because it doesn’t know where you are, even though you are flying down the M8 at 125kph, so if the modern technology can’t help you may as well go with it.

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Rule 7 – You will not drink more than the locals

You are welcome to try but you won’t win. Just don’t, its hard enough drinking stout for 12 hours let alone you trying it with your infant like stomach for drinking. Born and raised on Stout these guys will flog you until you are full as a boot, and after drinking liquid steak all night they will sit down to roast potato’s with mash and chips with a small protein like beef. GO for it but i just tried to keep up and felt overcome with ‘soft-ishness’

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Rule 8 – Always remember the Irish are Mad!

Answering questions with questions, giving you long winded directions that you are supposed to remember after a couple and generally making a joke of everything….except the rugby, thats no laughing matter…except when the Irish beat the Australians.

Rule 9 – Avoid groups of other Australian’s when travelling in the UK.

Theres only so many times that the Irish will accept an Aussie yelling out the timeless phrase “phwarkin pooftah” before they start to discuss the exits….and you don’t want to be one of them. Groups of Aussies abroad are pretty bad.

Rule 10 – Bangers and Mash is incredible pretty much wherever you go in England.

They have perfected the art over almost 1000 years, so just order it with a pint of warm bitter and embrace it…this is the UK orright? Its a good cheap meal, tastes great and is good for the two of you to share.

Rule 11 – Feel free to laugh at the Tube stop ‘Cock Fosters’…it is funny.

But maybe don’t laugh too loudly as people may think you are immature…which of course you are but everyone on the tube doesn’t need to know that.